Teach your cat to code
Empower your fuzzy freeloader to stop being a mindless consumer and go make something of itself.
You know it and I know it. Those little guys are opportunists. They definitely get by on their good looks, by being all cute and stuff — and in today’s society, where we’re trying our darndest to be a meritocracy, it’s high time you empower your cats and help them market themselves.
Teach your cat to code.
That new kitten you got? It has — what? — 13, 14 years left? How is it going to support itself when you get old? It can’t keep relying on you, can it?
Teach your cat to code.
Look, I’m sure you don’t want your cat to be unhappy. That’s why you keep buying it toys, treats, furniture, treats, catnip, fancy food, treats, and, um, treats. But honestly, how happy can that stuff make it? Don’t you think after a while, the realization that it’s just a consumer will dawn on your cat? Maybe it wants to lead a productive life. I bet my ninth life that in its heart of heart, your cat wants to make things. It wants to help others. It wants to learn, experiment, fail, try again, and eventually succeed.
Teach your cat to code.
There’s plenty of resources out there for you. From the authors of “Teach the homeless to code,” “HTML/CSS for Babies,” and even a book on teaching complete idiots programming basics, (your cat isn’t a complete idiot, is it?) we have our new book:
Teach your cat to code.
Sure, it might be a few years before it really groks HTML or CSS. You have to start it off slow. Baby steps. Something like Logo might be a good first step. We were learning it in the 80s, for chrissake, so your cat sure as hell can figure it out now, in the 10s. Plus, I think it will like the turtle. Mine sure does eye the terrarium hungrily every once in a while.
Teach your cat to code.
You know what they say. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for the rest of his life. But teach a man to code, and he’ll announce an IPO, go public, and make billions. Well, same thing with your cat. Let the bum buy its own catnip. All it’ll cost you up front is a cheap computer. You know, to code on. And maybe one of those keyboards made for people with poor fine motor skills. It’s hard to type when your hand is a paw.
Teach your cat to code.
Andy Welfle is an entrepreneur, a maker of things, a Millennial thought-leader and a people curator. His new book “Teach Your Cat To Code” has taken bookshelves by storm, one straight-to-paperback edition at a time. And it was DEFINITELY NOT ghost-written by unpaid interns, despite what you may have read on Medium.
If you like this article, please share it below, or head over to Kickstarter project to fund his next project, an e-book titled “Why Poor People Are Just Lazy”.
